Does an agent really have to write this?

But, really, how long is too long?

It’s embarrassing.

This reminds me of when I worked in medicine. Especially ER’s, where people are conditioned by the inane ER television shows to think that doctors run around doing dramatic things and yelling “stat” all day long. People got upset that they had their tests done three hours ago and why wasn’t ‘something’ being done?

Well, because you’re not the only one in the hospital, my dear. You’re not even the only one in this ER. It’s called triage. The guy with the knife stuck hilt-deep in his eye is going to get seen first. (And, unlike television, real doctors find it difficult to solve three major life-threatening problems and save the world all in forty minutes)

It’s not even that dramatic in the publishing world. Think about it. No one will die if your email isn’t answered today. Or if your query isn’t answered next month. Or if your manuscript request isn’t answered in six months. (I mean, face it, they asked for the thing! Some people would give their front teeth to have an agent ask for their novel.)

I don’t know. I’ve never been brave enough to submit anything. Maybe this process does something to your sanity, and one day I’ll be ranting on some forum that Agent Z had my snail mail query for ten mind-warping days before he answered it. I hope not. Please slap me if that happens.

My take on this: get a grip. There are more important things in life than if Agent Z accepts your story.

Really.

I’m serious.

Just take my word on it, okay?

Go spend time with your family. Start a new hobby, something not writing related. Play sports. Read a good book. Figure out what you’re going to write for your next book/story/poem/screenplay.

What? You only have one? Eggs and baskets come to mind, but that’s another topic.

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